


You Grew on Me

by TypicalCampbell



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, Depression, Dipper's Mind gets erased instead of Stan's, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Possibly Smut Later, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rating May Change, Underage Drinking, Violence, cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:18:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TypicalCampbell/pseuds/TypicalCampbell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dipper Pines and Pacifica Northwest had been dancing around their feelings for each other for almost three years now, ever since the Northwest Manor Haunting. But, this summer, Dipper was determined to change that. Hey, he had fought dream demons and Multibears, how hard could romance be, right?  Right??</p><p>AU where Dipper had to take the bullet instead of Stan, and we explore the after effects of Having your entire mindscape erased at once  (written before the finale, tweaked to fit better with canon)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Plan of Attack

Dipper Pines was the man with the plan. Well, normally he was. Normally he had a plan for anything. Sure, things tended to go off the rails a bit, but with a little help from the journal, Mabel, and occasionally Soos, everything worked out fine. Today was different, though. The journal didn’t say anything about girls or feelings, and he’d be damned if he was talking to Mabel about this.  
Dipper stared at the piece of paper on the desk, and sighed frustratedly to himself. Maybe 37 steps is a bit too many… He mused. I should cut it down a bit. He crumpled the paper up and tossed it over his shoulder. It landed in a debris field of its balled up brothers. He knew full well that his plans didn’t do as well in the field of romance as they did in the field of giant robots and Gremloblins. But this had to go perfectly. Recent events had shown him pretty clearly that he had to quit procrastinating. It was go time. But, like Hannibal Smith before him, he needed a plan.  
“HELLOOOO DIPSTICK!’’  
“AAAARGHHHH!” Dipper launched himself from his chair as an upside down face rudely interrupted his reverie. He tripped, and landed spectacularly on his ass halfway across the attic.  
“ Smooth move, nerd.” came a telltale voice from the doorway. Dipper flinched internally.  
“P-Paz, when did you get here?” He glanced nervously towards the pile of papers on the ground, but neither of them seemed to notice  
“She came over to pick me up! We’re going to the mall in a couple hours, wanna come?” Mabel seemed really amped up today, which puzzled him until he noticed the telltale red stains on her tongue. Of course, she already got into the Mabel Juice. He looked over to Pacifica, eyebrows raised, and she shrugged back, seemingly saying “Just roll with it” Fair enough, he supposed. Not like either of them could change it now.  
“Sure, I guess… Mind waiting for me downstairs? I gotta finish something.” Mabel giggled violently, and glanced at the pile on the ground. Ok, I need to work on my subtlety.  
“No prob, Brobro.” Mabel leapt to her feet, and bolted to the door. She grabbed Pacifica by the shoulder and shoved her out the door, whispering something in her ear. The sound of laughter receded back down into the interior of the shack, and Dipper cringed. He gathered up all of the paper on the floor and dropped them into his metal trash can. Where was that fire spell incantation, again?

 

“Dipper must be crushing on someone!” Mabel whispered loudly in Pacifica’s ear as they walked down the creaky stairway. Pacifica’s perfectly coiffed brows raised. “You didn’t see pile of papers on the floor? He’s totally trying to plan how to talk to some girl right now. Thats his pattern. He plots out these ridiculously complicated scenarios, they fall apart, then he ends up talking to them like a normal human being. Or, rather, tries to. Rinse and repeat.” Mabel giggled madly. “I wonder who it is this time?” Pacifica felt a slight flutter in her chest, and mentally squashed it. It can’t be me, Dipper and I talk all the time, and he does just fine. She, on the other hand, always seemed to get distracted these days. She couldn’t seem to stop herself from staring at his eyes, or the lean, muscular arms that puberty had left him with sometime over the last couple of years while they were apart. It was a huge improvement over the scrawny, noodle armed youth she met all those summers ago.  
No! Bad Pacifica! Stop that. She mentally slapped herself.  
“Pas? You with me?” Mabel shook her arm  
“Yeah, sorry. Just got lost in thought. Who do you think it is this time?” she asked, trying for all the world not to sound too interested.  
“Hmmmm. Maybe that cute chick from the pretzel stand at the mall? I know I’ve been checking her out, and we tend to have similar taste in women… It better not be Wendy again.” Mabel mused disapprovingly. “He promised he was done with that phase at the end of the first summer.”  
“Wait, Dipper had a crush on Corduroy? The lumberjack chick?!” Pacifica asked, shocked. Oh shit, I’m way not his type.  
“Yeah, he never told you? He was all googly eyes and secret love letters for her for months. He swears it was just an ‘awkward time in his life’.” She made air quotes around the phrase, and they both giggled.  
“Isn’t that basically every time in his life?” Mabel “oooh”-ed at that  
“Harsh, Paz. Sassing him behind his back like that...” She grinned “So, did you want to catch a movie or something while we’re at the mall?” The conversation moved on, but Pacifica’s mind kept flitting back to that topic, wondering who it could be - and burning with jealousy despite herself.

 

The last of the letters and lists curled and blackened in the trashcan, gone where no one could ever find the evidence. Mabel didn’t see anything incriminating, he didn’t think. Thank god for small mercies. He opened his dresser looking for a better shirt. At the very least, one that hadn’t been worn for the last three days straight. He might not be the most conscientious about hygiene, sure, but this called for something a step up. He was just like his Grunkles. Stan literally didn’t put on pants if he could help it, and Ford still shaved via conflagration. Pines men tended to be a bit of a mess.  
“Hmmmm, I know she likes V-necks…” He pulled out an old black one, that fit him just a tad tight. “maybe that would show off a little muscle- aww who am I kidding, I don’t have much to show off.” Still, he was pretty good shape, as far as he was concerned. Manotaurs might be jerks, but their workout tips were on point. He shucked his shirt, applied some deodorant, and donned the thin T-shirt, a flannel, and a pair of skinny jeans. The old outfit was abandoned where it lie, along with the rest of his dirty laundry. Dipper glanced in the mirror and shrugged. Now if only he could do something about the massive bags under each eye.  
Eventually he gave up and wandered downstairs. The usual gang greeted him in the dining room. Stan stood at the stove, making breakfast, and Ford sat at the table, sipping a black coffee and reading some new scientific journal. He could hear Soos off in the other room, puzzling over some problem that needed fixing.  
Wait, what time is it? Dipper glanced at his watch, just as Stan turned and slapped a plate of fresh Stancakes on the table.  
“Rare seeing you out of bed this early, kid. What are you doing conscious?”  
“Uh, Mabel woke me up.. Actually I don’t remember going to sleep.”  
“Working on anything interesting?” Ford inquired, never taking his eyes away from his reading. Well, actually.. Dipper thought bemusedly.  
“Oh nothing like that, just uh… trying to working out a few kinks in this new plan i was coming up with.”  
“Well, spill the beans, kid”  
“Yes, perhaps one of us could be of assistance. We happen to have quite a bit of advice between the two of us.” Ford asserted. “Well, more so me than Stanley”  
“Hey, I resent that! My advice is pure gold!” Stan groused.  
“Only when it comes to stealing literal gold.” Ford fired back  
“...Okay, uh- Here goes.” Dipper said tentatively, partially to break up the verbal tennis match, and partially because they were right. They did give him quite a bit of fatherly — or rather Grunkly — advice in the past. Though, Stanley was divorced, and Ford hadn’t been dealing with actual Earth women in at least thirty years.  
“It’s about Miss Northwest, isn’t it” Dipper looked at Ford, affronted. “I am a genius after all, Dipper”  
“Shhhhhh!” Dipper looked around. The girls must be outside, or in the car. “Ugh, yes, ok. It’s about Pacifica.” he rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. “ I just can’t get her out of my head lately.”  
“Well, did you formulate a plan of action?”  
“Yeah of course, Grunkle Ford! I spent all night making lists, planning scenarios-” Stanley put an arm around his shoulders, and guided him to his seat.  
“Don’t listen to that huge nerd. His last girlfriend was probably a robot from the planet Gazorpazorp or something.” Stanford made a face, and flicked the science journal up in front of his face. “All you have to do is be confidant. The key to love is just rolling with the punches, and doing what feels right.”  
“And how did that work out with YOUR love life?” Ford harrumphed.  
“Hey! That divorce was just a fluke!” The brothers kept bickering back and forth, but Dipper had to admit, Grunkle Stan had a point. Not like his plans had ever actually paid off, he mused over his pancakes.

The door slammed open, and Mabel burst in the room. “Dipper, come on! It’s time for the mall shopping montage” “Mabel, what the-” “MONTAGE!!” she ran out the door.  
“Remember kid; CONFIDENCE” Stan lifted his eyepatch and winked at him. Dipper grabbed his pancakes, nodded, and followed Mabel out the door.

 

Pacifica loved that car. It was the only thing she owned that was hers. Like, bought, insured and paid for completely with her own money. Sure, she had her inheritance, and her trust funds, but ever since her mother left, and her father checked into that mental health hospital after the whole Weirdmaggedon thing, she’d been trying to make her own way in the world. The car was step one. It was an old 2005 Camerie, bought with the money she saved up from working at the museum in town. She kept it spotless, inside and out. Unfortunately, that meant vacuuming it out every time she hung out with the twins, but sacrifices have to be made for one’s friends.  
She started the engine as she saw Mabel come flying out the door, trailing her brother behind her. Dipper looked distant and contemplative. Probably trying to figure out how to approach pretzel girl.  
Of course, Mabel beat Dipper to the shotgun seat, leaving the tall teen to bunch up in the back seat. Not quite ideal, for a couple reasons, but he knew not to argue. He’d just have to be quicker on the draw on the way home. Pacifica adjusted the mirror, briefly making eye contact with him in the back seat, and a quick shiver ran down his spine. Shit. He sat back for a moment, and remembered his Great Uncle’s technique. 'Focus on your intellect, and just breathe.' How was it that trick worked better on extraterrestrial security bots than beautiful teenage girls? He’d never quite figured it out. Probably some stupid hormone thing. He scooted himself up to the gap between the front seats, and tapped his sister's bright pink shoulder.  
"So, Mabes, whats the plan for today?" Dipper tried to pretend he wasn't nervous. "Nervous? Who was nervous? Certainly not him hahaha"  
"What did you just say bro? Certainly not what?" Oh dear god, he just said that out loud?  
"Nothing Mabes. Just talking to myself." Dipper shrank back into his seat a little. This was going to be a long day.


	2. Mall Rats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a little jealousy among friends? Well a lot of jealousy. But hey, who's keeping track.

It’s hard enough trying to read in the car on a normal trip.Trying to focus when he was being distracted by the two teenage girls in the front seat belting out “Defying Gravity” would require nothing short of a miracle. Not that he disliked listening to them, mind you. He had long past gotten used to it. The play, Wicked, honestly described their friendship pretty well. Ironically, Mabel was the one who always sung Glinda’s parts. As the song finished, Mabel turned to her bestie, and asked possibly the worst question he’d ever heard.  
“So, Paz, have you ever heard Dippity Dog sing?”  
Dipper stared at her in horror, at a loss for words.  
“OMG, I think I did once! I walked in on him singing Disco Girl into his comb after that sleepover last summer. Nice falsetto by the way, nerd.” She took her eyes off the road for a second and shot him a smirk. The smirk deepened into a full on giggling fit when she beheld the look of absolute revulsion on Dipper’s face. Mabel joined in for a second, then stopped, visibly steeling herself against getting distracted.  
“Granted, Bro bro’s BABA impression is hilariously bad, but I meant for realsies. He’s actually got a really great voice.”  
“Oh, really?” Pacifica raised an eyebrow.  
“Seriously Mabel? You know full well how much I hate singing in front of other people!”  
“You did it at the Karaoke Party!” she retorted triumphantly, as if that settled the matter.  
“Those were ZOMBIES! I was doing it to save our lives”  
“Exactly! you’ll sing for a bunch of brain junkies, but not our dear Pacifica? I’ll even put on one of your weird indie songs. or— OOOOHHH! i know just the showtune.” she clicked a few things on her Phone and all of a sudden piano music started blaring through the speakers. Dipper reached through and yanked the aux cable out of the port.  
“No way in hell I’m singing the Tango Maureen in the middle of the car. I’m far too sober for this.” Dipper groused. Pacifica blinked.  
“Dipper, you know Rent? Where the hell has this been for the last 4 years?” she watched his eyes slide down to eye the aux cable in his hand  
“W-well uh, I don’t normally tell people, but-.  
“Dipper is a giant sucker for theatre. he did stage crew for years in high school, even though he’s a better actor than 95% of the people that got the leads.” Dipper shot her a glare.  
“well, except for the last part, yeah.. pretty much.”  
Pacifica wolf whistled. “Wow, Pines. I’d pay top dollar to see that.” A pause, then “Who’d have ever thought; the great fearless adventurer brought down by stage fright.”  
Mabel didn’t stop laughing at that all the way to the mall.

The first half of the day at the mall went pretty much how Dipper expected. Mabel made him leave the Journal in the car. He locked it in the trunk, because he wasn’t an idiot.. Then the two ladies dragged him in and out of stores, asking his opinion, and occasionally modeling outfits for him. He had to admit, watching his crush parade an endless variety of different, extremely stylish outfits in front of him wasn’t exactly torture. He had to at least pretend to be bored, though It was expected of him as a seventeen year old boy. Then they dragged him to an EXPRESS men. Definitely not his typical Oregon Indie Hiker aesthetic, but they managed to convince him to pick up some pretty nice shirts, a new red flannel, and -ugh- skinny jeans. Pacifica assured him that he looked quite stylish, though according to her “The dirty old trucker hat kind of ruins the look”. Psh. that was his lucky hat she was talking shit about.. although he supposed he could go without it for one afternoon, just to see how it looked…  
Dipper swept the hat off his head, and ran his fingers through his hair a couple times, then looked in the mirror. His bangs were just long enough to cover the infamous birthmark. Here goes nothing.  
The food court was pretty crowded for a Saturday in Roadkill county, but they managed to find a decent booth. It was situated near the Japanese place that Dipper ate at every time he came, the sushi for Paz, and the bathroom. There was no predicting what Mabel would want to eat on any given day, so it didn’t really matter for her where they sat.  
“So, Mabel, any idea what you want? Lunch is totally on me today.” Mabel grinned at her, and looked around a couple times.  
“Hmmmm. They never seem to have much vegetarian food around here, do they? I guess I’ll get a salad or something from the Thai place over there.” Dipper came back to the table, order already in hand.  
“How in the hell do you do that so fast every time?” Pacifica asked, skeptically.  
“Eh, Kanta— the guy on the fryer— is a pretty good friend of mine, and he knows my order, so when he sees me walk in he starts getting it ready. All I really have to do is pay.” Dipper pulled apart his chopsticks, and tucked into his Teriyaki Chicken and Shrimp. He always ate like it was a job, approaching his meal step by step, Pacifica observed. first he dumped the extra sauce over the noodles, stirred for like 30 seconds, and started eating with the shrimp and working his way to the noodles. Pacifica had noticed this for a couple years, but never really noticed how closely she was paying attention to his eating. She blushed, and quickly got up to go order her sushi before he could notice the staring or the reddened cheeks.  
By the time she got back, he was swirling the last of the noodles around in the sauce, and sipping a large Pitt Cola. she sat across from him, and took a bite.  
“How’s Jo’s Dragon rolls today?” he inquired with a half smile.  
“What? How’d you know it was a Dragon roll?”  
“Paz, you're not the only attentive one.” She could hear a faint amusement in his voice. “And I’m apparently not the only creature of habit. You’ve gotten the same order the last six times we did this. The Dragon roll and the tuna sashimi.” Damnit, the blush was back.  
“A-apparently not.” was all she could manage. Thankfully, Mabel took that moment to come back with her Thai salad. She started digging into the leafy bowl almost immediately, sparing no time for conversation.  
“Anyway, I’m gonna go grab an Uncle Andy’s pretzel, you girls want any?” They both shook their heads in unison.

Look at him over there, shamelessly flirting with pretzel girl. Pacifica thought, gut boiling with jealousy. She’s pretty i suppose, her hair’s certainly his favorite color. It was true, the redhead at the pretzel stand wasn’t bad looking, and she certainly fit his apparent tomboy predilection. Not exactly curvy, though, is she? She wasn’t very kind to the girl in her envious musings, making several unfair comparisons between the two of them.  
Pacifica came out of her reverie, and turned towards Mabel to inform her that her theory was confirmed, when she heard Mabel’s voice in her ear  
“I was wrong, I think. I’m pretty sure it’s you” came the low murmur. Pacifica’s head snapped around she almost broke Mabel’s nose  
“What?” she exclaimed in a loud whisper  
“ Look at him. He’s wearing Skinny Jeans and a flannel shirt because you suggested it! Hell, he took off his lucky hat for you!” Pacifica’s jealousy instantly turned into nervous butterflies  
“Y-you seriously think so??” she fixed her hair self-consciously. “ Then what’s up with the laughing, leaning-at-the-window-of-the-pretzel-stand-for-ten-minutes act?”  
“Hmmmm..” Mabel frowned thoughtfully “ Maybe they’re just friends.” She sipped her drink “Anyway, you didn’t notice him checking you out when we were showing him clothes earlier? Dip is really bad at pretending to be bored.”  
“No, I didn’t actually.” Her pride glowed at the thought anyway though. Of course Dipper was checking her out, why wouldn’t he be? She was Pacifica Northwest, damnit. Enough of this coy stuff. That sentiment lasted exactly as long at it took for Dipper to walk back to their table, chewing on a piece of pretzel already.  
“So, how is Hot Pretzel Girl?” Mabel asked amusedly “she say anything about me?”  
“Heh, you mean Melinda?” Pacifica’s smile twitched at that. He was on first name terms with every other vendor in the food court, of course he knew her name. “Yeah she’s great” he continued, apparently oblivious to her reaction “and she says hi”  
“Let’s head out, then! We have a long night of movies and fun ahead of us!” Mabel crowed, apparently buoyed by “Hot Pretzel Girl”s greeting.  
“OH SHIT!” Dipper exclaimed nervously “Tonight is a sleepover night?”  
“Yeah Dumdum, I’ve been planning it for weeks! Soos bought me a 20 pack of Meg’s hard, and Pacifica is staying over to help us get through them all.”  
“Crap crap crap, I’m sorry, uh, I’ll be home a bit late. It’s Movie Night at Wendy’s house this week, and It’s been a couple weeks since we’ve done it because of her second job at the Mill, so i promised I’d go…” Dipper trailed off, obviously distressed by the idea of missing one of their rare sleepovers with Paz.  
“Oh.” There goes that lifted mood. Pacifica thought bitterly.  
“Bro brooooo.” Mabel silently willed her brother to be less of a tactless idiot. she didn’t have much hope, though. He was always pretty tactless. All of a sudden, a guilty little smile broke out on Dipper’s face.  
“Hey, I know how i can make it up to you.” he said softly. Both girls looked at him expectantly. “I promise, if you guys can wait a few hours until i get home to start the real party, i’ll… Eh screw it. I’ll sing for you guys.” Mabel’s face lit up like a firework.  
“The whole scene?” she led  
“Ok, fine the whole scene.” He acquiesced “ and you don’t even have to pay to see it Paz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is a little short, a lot of big things are going to happen in the next couple chapters, and i'm going to try to have them out by the end of the week.


	3. Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip home from the mall, and the night's beginning
> 
> Do- do the titles have to be puns or whatever?
> 
> also, the story starts getting a little darker here

The ride back to the shack wasn’t quite as boisterous, which worried Dipper. The only time Mabel sat quietly was when she was planning something. Paz seemed content to drive peacefully and let her sushi digest, so Dipper followed her example and turned his attention back to the book. He was adding to the entry about Multi Bear, who his great uncle Ford had never met. Dipper thought maybe the story would impress him a little.  
Pacifica looked over at him for a moment, and reluctantly asked “Hey, Dipper. Do you need me to drop you off at Corduroy’s house?”  
“Nah, thanks Paz. I’ll catch a ride over with her when her shift is up at the Shack”  
“Planning on watching anything interesting?” He barked a laugh.  
“Hell no, half the fun of movie night is finding the shittiest possible horror movies possible to watch. Good movies would be boring.” That comment earned him a confused glance. “The other half of the fun is tearing the movies to pieces with her. We’re like Statler and Waldorf.” He thought for a moment “Tonight feels like a Nearly Almost Dead But Not Quite kind of night.”  
“So you two literally just watch terrible movies and be snarky together all night?”  
“Well, that and drink, yeah. Last time we did it all night, polished off an entire bottle of Jack and Coke.” She went kind of quiet at that, and he hastily added “I-It was like a quarter gone already, we aren’t alcoholics.”  
Pacifica chuckled at that. “Dipper, I don’t care how much you like to drink, just don’t get caught. I doubt your uncles would approve.”  
“Well, I mean, Stan doesn’t care, he says he started drinking at like fourteen. Great Uncle just grumbled something about rebellious phases, and how I should be focusing on our studies, but he didn’t seem all that surprised.”  
“Wait.. they know you drink??” she sounded shocked  
“Well, yeah, they trust me. They saw me take on a literal God, they know i can handle a little bourbon.” He grinned, proud in spite of himself. “I’ve seen you drink in front of your parents before, they must know you indulge occasionally.” she frowned at the comment  
“They think iIstick to the cider at parties. Please don’t tell them otherwise.”  
“O-of course Paz. I ain’t no rat.” He said in his best New York gangsta accent. They both giggled a little.  
The parking lot of the shack was starting to empty out a little as they pulled in. Dipper held the door for the girls as they brought in the seven or eight bags full of clothes and party supplies, then winked at Pacifica and disappeared into the gift shop.  
“Yo Dawg!”  
“Hey Soos, hey Wendy!” she heard through the door as she walked upstairs after Mabel.

 

“So, I have an important question.” Mabel asked with a serious expression  
“Sorry, Mabes, I’m not into girls” Mabel giggled at that  
“Not about that silly! Anyway i’m in the mood for a boyfriend this week” Pacifica knew full well she wasn’t kidding. Mabel’s desires seemed to fluctuate capriciously like that. One week boy-crazy, one week it was all about the ladies. The rest of the time it was just kind of a mix.  
“Heh, anyway. The million dollar question is; Can you tango?  
“Uh, duhh.”Pacifica snorted, as if to underline how dumb of a question that was. then she pales. “Wait, why do you want to know?”

“Hey, Soos. Hey Wendy!” Dipper exclaimed as he burst through the door to the Mystery gift shop. “How’s the day going?”  
“Not bad, dood. Not bad at all” Soos replied cheerfully, like always.  
“Duuuude it was the worst! how can so many people even come through here in one day?” Dipper smiled  
“Isn’t that kind of the idea?”  
“Eh, whatever. I’m off in three.. two.. BAM.” She jumped clear over the counter, and grabbed Dipper’s shoulders. “Are you ready for three terrible movies in a row?”  
“Ha ha. Am I ever!” Dipper gave Soos a bro hug, and grabbed his coat. Wendy followed suit, hollering a goodbye to Stan, and bolting out the door.  
“So i was thinking we could do the Almost Nearly Dead But Not Quite trilogy tonight, what do you think?  
“Sounds like a plan, man.  
“So, the real question. What’s for drinking?”  
“We got a few options, but i’m leaning towards the Patron XO Cafe.” Dipper whistled appreciatively. He’d acquired the taste for hard liquor just after the end of the first summer, but he hid it pretty well. Well, hidden it from everyone except for Wendy of course. He remembered exactly when she had walked in on him, trying to find him for his shift at the register at the shack and seen him puking his guts out in the garbage. The best things about Wendy were all things he had learned after he had already gotten over her, which is good, because it would have been a hopeless case otherwise. How amazing she was in a fight. How understanding she could be of the deep issues and terrifying apocalyptic dreams, and of the subtle fears that every person he met could secretly be Him. She had helped him nurse his splitting hangover, brought him up a greasy plate of breakfast, and locked her lips as she walked downstairs to cover his shift, throwing the ‘key’ over her shoulder. There had been a couple more bad mornings after that, but not many. And no matter how bad things got, she always helped him up again. She was the older sister he’d never had.  
Eventually he had learned how to keep all of the things he had seen in a box, and focus on his intellect when things got bad, just like his Great Uncle taught him. These days, the only drinking he did was with her, for fun.

 

“So you’re absolutely sure he’s over Wendy? Because it sure sounds like they hang out a lot for ‘Just Friends’” Pacifica asked, in what she thought qualified as a casual tone.  
“Pshhhhh, of course. He was never this good at hiding his thing for her. I’d know!” Mabel puffed her chest out confidently. “After all, I am a Love God.”  
“Oh? If you’re so good, who do I like, Love Goddess?” Pacifica asked, sure the question would deflate her best friends self assured smirk.  
“HA! Dipper, obviously. Hence the plan. Got any hard questions?”  
“W-what d’you— I have absolutely no idea what you mean!” Pacifica sputtered, shocked.  
“Oh come on now, I’ve seen how you are around the Dip Meister. Watching him when he eats, blushing at his compliments, getting all angry whenever we talk about his crushes, or Wendy.” Mabel said gleefully. “It’s crazy obvious to everyone who pays any attention, which obviously means he has no idea. Or just crazy misinterprets it.”  
“Or he knows and doesn’t like me back, but he values my friendship too much and he doesn’t wanna say anything and ruin it so he’s just letting me pine after him in silence.”  
“HA! ‘Pine’ after him. i like it” Mabel stared at the stricken expression on her face, and felt terrible for laughing “ Sorry, bad timing. Paz, that’s definitely not it. i’m like 99% sure he has a huge Mega-Crush on you.” she paused “Wait, so you admit you like him??”  
“Not in the slightest. I was just pointing out a scenario you overlooked. Hypothetically.”  
“JEEZ!” Mabel harrumphed. “I figured you guys would’ve worked out your issues at some point in the last two years when I was back home. I fully expected to come back to the Mystery Shack as a third wheel.” Pacifica laughed at that disbelievingly. “Usually that sort of thing takes face to face communication. I’m not gonna try to seduce your brother via text all the way in Piedmont. That would just be cruel.”  
Mabel gave her a weird look at that, but said no more, and they moved on to the first event of the night. Makeovers.


	4. It's a Trope For A Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy gets a tad saucy when she's sauced
> 
> Dipper watches a ton of horror movies, yet has zero self-awareness.
> 
> Stan gets a new attraction for the shack

“Haha, Sure, sneak off from the others to hook up, I’m sure that’ll go well!” Dipper exclaimed to the screen at the foot of the bed. Wendy snorted.  
“Yeah, for some reason zombies sure love cockblocking people.” The redhead glanced over to him “ Is the supernatural that enthusiastic about chastity in real life?”  
“are you freaking kidding me? I have to go save some poor girl from the gnomes like once a month.” He shook his head, as if to clear the disturbing images “And don’t even get me started about the goddamn Hand Witch. Or the gremloblin, i ran into that big freak humping a trailer in town like three months ago.”  
“Woah. Horror movies got it way off.”  
“Well,” Dipper pointed at the screen as the zombies tore the hapless teenagers clothes off ‘accidentally’ “not entirely. d-movie directors are a bunch of dirty old perverts” they both laughed riotously. “So, accidental monster induced nudity, that’s what, a shot?” Wendy poured them both a small glass of the coffee tequila and passed him one. It was part of their horror movie drinking game. they had already worked their way through about half the bottle, drinking when the “Bad” kids died, or when anyone said a cheesy pun. Doing it with old trope fests was a guaranteed way to end up either completely blitzed or with alcohol poisoning.  
“So speaking of cockblocking, you got yourself any new potential love interests? You seemed kinda distracted lately.”  
“There, uh, might be something. But i don’t think..” He trailed off  
“OOOOO there is!” Wendy hiccuped, then leaned in towards dipper, and whispered conspiratorially in his ear “It’s not me again, is it?” Dipper tossed back the shot in his hand, and swiveled on the bed.  
“Nahhhh.” he drew the word out. It was true, she had grown up to be insanely hot. Plus, hanging out in her room alone like this, drunk, on her bed occasionally gives me bad ideas, but i mean come on, I’m 16. That’s just normal, isn’t it. Wendy looked at him a bit wide eyed.  
“Oh shit, i just said that out loud again didn’t I?” His face flushed,all of a sudden red hot. A moment passed in silence, then they both dissolved into giggling again  
“Yeah, you do that a lot” Wendy looked him up and down appraisingly. “You’d definitely have a better shot now then you did when you were twelve.” Oh Jeez. What do i even say to that.  
“Uh.. thanks haha.” Honestly, they did movie night and drinks fairly often, but Dipper didn’t think he’d ever seen her seem quite this drunk. He really hoped he didn’t look quite as shocked as he felt.  
“Dude relax, i’m not gonna jump your bones, I was kidding” She punched him on the arm, and his brain unfroze. “Step one, man. you gotta relax around the ladies.”  
“HEY! I’m totally relaxed. Well, like ninety percent of the time I am. I’m totally good around women. I happen to be-” He hiccupped as if to prove his point “Drunk. Drunk plus you plus flirting just temporarily froze my brain.”   
“Heh, fair enough.”   
“Speaking of the ladies, can i ask you something?”  
“Fire away, man.” She mimed shooting him with a finger gun.  
“So.. Dancing with a girl alone in your room is romantic. Yay or Nay?” Dipper shifted a little in his seat. According to everything he had read about romance, it was a good idea, but romance wasn’t really his domain.  
“Why, you offerin’ kid?” she grinned lopsidedly.  
“Sure, can you walk a straight line for me first? And touch the tip of your nose with your left pointer finger?”  
“Watch and be amazed, smartass!” Wendy lept to her feet, and, with a look of intense concentration on her face, walked straight to the opposite side of her room. Then, she extended her arm, stuck out a finger… and proceeded to poke herself directly in the eye.   
Dipper thought he was literally going to suffocate from laughter. It was a very real possibility.

 

After extracting several promises from Wendy that she would drink a gallon of water, and promising that he wouldn’t wake up Manly Dan on his way out (Does Wendy think I’m suicidal?) and that he wouldn’t get hit by a car on the way home, Dipper staggered out of the Corduroy household half an hour late, and thoroughly drunk. He would never make it to the Shack on time if he went by road. He could cut through the forest, and make it there by like 9:45, but the woods were pretty dangerous at night. Not that dipper couldn’t handle a little bit of danger, he practically lived in those woods for the past three years with his Great Uncle, but ever since the first summer, and how it ended, the local creatures had seemed to get more and more restless. Maybe the oddpocalypse had made the weak point in their dimension less stable? Eh, whatever the reason, the woods tended to be more lethal at night in recent years. Maybe the long way was safer…  
“Fuck it!” he exclaimed suddenly. Dipper Pines, Man of Action, wasn’t going to be late because of a few shadows! He looked around for the telltale hollow tree that marked the right path, and set off.

“so far so good” he muttered to himself, as he crouched by the side of the path. the path was covered in animal tracks, which meant this part of the forest hadn’t seen a high concentration of anomalous creatures lately. the two tended to stay away from each other. Also, the stealthy jog he had been keeping up was starting to clear his head a little. Just enough to acknowledge that cutting through the forest was a remarkably stupid idea. no use crying over spilt Mabel Juice though. Just gotta keep moving.  
He ducked out from behind the tree cover, and jogged down the path, keeping to the shadows until—   
“Oof!” he tripped over a line of little bearded men, and just managed to roll instead of landing on his face. Cries of “What the hell?” and “OUCH” and “Shmebulock!” echoed around the forest.  
“Pines, what the hell?” one of the gnomes yelled at him. Dipper blinked in confusion.  
“Jeff? What the hell are you doing out after dark you little despot? Do you guys want to get eaten by a griffin or the Gremloblin?”  
“I could ask you the same question kid! Oh wait, I don’t care!” The Gnome laughed humorlessly. “You’ve cost me like 7 queens! I hope you get eaten.”  
“ I can take care of myself.” Dipper puffed out his chest slightly. It was mostly true, he was competent enough to not need Ford to accompany him on every outing- during the day at least. “Anyway, seriously, you guys are like 8 inches tall, get the hell back to the tavern or something.”  
“Psh, we’re all at least a foot tall! Like you would know what eight inches looks-”  
An earsplitting roar echoed through the woods, sobering Dipper up instantly, and interrupting his retort. The gnomes scattered almost instantly screaming at the top of their tiny lungs. Powerful race my ass.  
Dipper reached down into his boots and drew a silver knife covered in engraved runes. He dodged into the brush at the edge of the path, just as a large green monster lumbered into view. Speak of the goddamned Devil. It was the flipping Gremloblin. Dipper slipped one hand into his vest, and withdrew a pair of reflective sunglasses. It might be cliche to wear sunglasses at night, but these were special. They made sure that if the thing looked him in the eye, he wouldn’t get caught in a nightmare. There were certain things from his past he didn’t particularly want to relive at night, drunk, in the middle of a fight. Dipper sidled slowly around the beast, trying to get past the vast idiot without alerting it to his presence. It was working, mostly because it seemed like the big green lump of terror had already caught itself dinner. I seriously hope that’s Jeff.   
It was Jeff. Wow. WOW. Now I feel like a terrible person. Dipper mused as he watched the Gremloblin chewing on the late King of the Gnomes.   
CRACK. The demonic face swiveled towards him. Fuuuck. Dipper froze. Then it charged.

Creeeeak went the door as Dipper snuck into the Shack, grimy, filthy, and covered in blood— but at exactly nine fucking forty-five.   
“DIIIPPPPER! GET IN HERE” came Stan’s gravelly voice from the living room. He looked down, and paused.   
“Uh, can i change first?”  
“NO!” Well, no chance of getting away with it now. He proceeded to the living room, shedding his vest, Flannel, and boots as he went, in the hopes of looking less like he had been running through the woods at night, but the blood covered pants kinda gave away the game, so he brought the backpack too.  
“Dip- what the fuck?”  
“I got you something.” He pulled off the backpack.  
“... what the heck are you talking about?” Dipper pulled out the grotesque, decapitated head of the Gremloblin, and set it on top of Stan’s Gold Chains for Old Men magazine  
“A new attraction” and without another word, Dipper turned and zombie walked up the stairs to the shower on the second floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, uh, what do y'all think. Lemme know if it's getting too dark because it totally gets worse from here, but less violence-y, more sad-y


	5. Competitive People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dipper is injured, Mabel is Machiavellian, and Pacifica and Dipper are both competitive idiots

Pacifica had no idea what she was expecting to happen tonight. Literally zero clue. all she knew was that Mabel insisted that they do makeovers and other miscellaneous stuff for like, three hours while they waited for her male counterpart to finish up his “movie night” at Wendy’s house. So, when they heard the door to the shack creak open, and the muffled shouting and sounds of the shower running, she just assumed that was the, uh, “Grunkles” arguing like usual. Dipper must be running late at his play date with the lumberjack girl. She absolutely, 100% did not expect Dipper to burst into the room ten minutes later. In nothing but a towel. She could feel the burning in her cheeks spread all the way to the tips of her ears. Damn, the boy was fine with a capital F.   
“Hey, uh, Dipping Sauce, there are ladies present?” Mabel said, clearly struggling to hold back gales of laughter.  
“OH FUU-” He came within in an inch of dropping the towel clutched around his waist. Pacifica hated herself for silently willing the towel to fall. “I mean, uh, hey… would you guys mind turning around for like.. two minutes?” At that, Mabel burst, her self control at it’s limits. She spun around and collapsed, clutching her sides laughing at her absentminded twin. Pacifica turned around, and heard the sound of the threadbare cotton towel hit the wood floor, and the drawers of his dresser scrape open.  
“So, uh, how’s the sleep over so far?” he inquired as casually as one can be while changing in a room full of teenage girls.  
“Put some pants on, and we can turn around and show you!” Mabel said, catching her breath  
Pacifica absolutely, definitely wasn’t going to peek. No way, no how. Not going to happen. She was dignified, and in control, and— Damn it. She turned and shot a furtive glance, just as he bent over to pull on a pair of gym shorts and almost melted. Holy Moses.  
She immediately turned back to see Mabel looking over at her, eyebrows wiggling up and down suggestively, and giggling silently. Pacifica couldn’t see herself, but the feeling on her face suggested she was currently a lovely shade of scarlet.   
Dipper dropped down next to them, in a clean white undershirt, shorts and … an ace bandage wrapped around his left arm.  
“Diplo, what the heck? what’s this?” Mabel exclaimed, all thoughts of Pacifica’s impropriety with her bro bro forgotten. She grabbed his arm and started to unwrap it.   
“Mabes, don’t do that—” The bandage fell away, to reveal a expertly stitched gash running halfway his arm.  
“This.. happened at Wendy’s house? What the hell were you doing, playing with axes?” Pacifica exclaimed disbelievingly.  
“Wendy’s? No, no, this happened in the woods on the way home. I had wasn’t thinking too clearly, chose the quick way home, and got a little hurt.” He protested anxiously. “Seriously, I’m fine, I’ve had way worse than this! It took me like two seconds to patch up. I’m better than a damn ER doc at this point.”  
“Jesus, bro bro. What the hell did this?”   
“It doesn’t matter, it’s not really a story for sleepovers. Lets just say, we don’t have to worry about a couple of Gravity Falls Most Wanted and leave it at that.” Mabel frowned. This was the millionth frickin time Dipper did that; kept her at arm’s length, as if he was trying to protect her, or she couldn’t handle the truth.   
“No way in hell, Broseph. Tell me what happened, for once! I can- We can handle it.” she nodded knowingly at Pacifica, who was frowning at them with a look of deep concern.  
“Fine, okay? Fuckin' fine. I cut through the woods so i would make it home by ten, and i was a little drunk, so i didn’t figure out how bad of an idea it was until I was halfway here. Then the Gremloblin showed up, and ate Jeff, and now Grunkle Stan has a new head to stuff for the shack. Because it tried to take my arm, and I was quicker. Happy? Now that you know that i cut something’s head off?”  
There was complete silence, as they digested the fact that Dipper— the sweaty, awkward nerd they had both known for years, with the noodle arms, who got winded walking up stairs— had just slain a huge monster on his walk home. He didn’t even seem that proud of that fact, as if it was commonplace. Meanwhile, Dipper sat there holding his breath, waiting for one of them to scold him for his frustrated outburst, or call him a killer or something. Any reaction at all really. He was sure it would be negative, but that would be better than this stunned silence.  
“Wait. Gnome Jeff? like, Marry-all-thousand-of-us, try to roofie a different girl a week Jeff?”  
“Mabel, that’s all you took away from that?” Pacifica asked, exasperated. Dipper nodded, then started laughing, the rest of the adrenaline draining out of him.  
“Yepp. He bit off a bit more than he could chew tonight.” Then Dipper winced. “Ugh, that was bad, even for me.”  
“Uh, yeah. Now come on Van Helsing, wrap your battle wound and let’s make with the sleepover”

Just like that, all the tension drained from Dipper’s body. He completely forgot how normal everything felt during the summer, when it wasn’t just him and the Grunkles. When mabel and Pacifica were in the shack with him, he wasn’t just that weird kid who lived at the Mystery Shack with the journal and too many scars to count. He was just DIpper, the sixteen year old kid who occasionally fought monsters. Okay, so not strictly normal, but about as normal as he got. He walked over to the cooler, wrenched the lid open.  
“Hmm, Mabel juice or hard cider. Decisions, Decisions”  
“Go with the Mabel Juice bro! You’ll need it for your performance!” He cursed silently. They hadn’t forgotten. Just his luck.  
“Can’t i just go fight another monster?”  
“ No way, Dipstick. You promised”

“Alright, alright. The Tango Maureen, right?” Dipper shook his head, shaggy brown bangs falling into his face. “You always make me do Rent.” He stretched, pushing out one leg as he bent the other one to work some flexibility back into his stiffened hamstrings, then repeated the process on the other leg.  
“Wait, why is he stretching?” Pacifica looked at Mabel puzzled. Then it hit her. “Thats why you asked me— “ Mabel cut her off   
“Yepp! Think you can do it with that arm?”  
“Please, Mabel. It’s cut, not cut off. I’ll be fine” He windmilled both arms around, and cracked his neck. “So, you’ll do Joanne, right?”  
“Well, I’ll do the vocals, sure. But, I mean, why waste such a good opportunity to show off your dancing skills on me?” Mabel said with an evil grin.   
I called it Dipper said to himself. He knew, knew Mabel was going to try to get the two of them to dance tonight. She’d been orchestrating this since they left for the mall that morning.  
“Uh, that is, if Paz is up to it” Mabel spoke slyly, glancing over at the blonde  
“Mabel, you can’t just spring that on her without any warning. Hell, she might not even know how to tango!”

“Oh no, you didn’t just say that!” Pacifica ejaculated, taking offense at once to the implication of ignorance. “Listen here, nerdboy, I’ll dance your goddamn socks off. I’ve been taking professional dancing lessons since i was six! i could dance flipping circles around both of you!”  
“Is that so?” Dipper fired back, eyebrows raised. “well i guess we’ll see, won’t we!”  
Mabel sat back watching the two of them, grinning like the Cheshire cat. Game, set, match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, The build up is killing me too. But i've never written a dancing and singing scene. plus i really need to go to sleep, so you'll all have to wait for the Tango until next time i update. Hey, three chapters in one night is pretty good, right? even if they're all excruciatingly short, and completely un spellchecked or edited?
> 
> Yeeeaaahhhhh... sorry about that I hope y'all enjoy
> 
> Update again soon.


	6. The Tango Pacifica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which They dance  
> And Sing  
> And Drink, and Joke
> 
> Sorry its so short more soon  
> and much much longer

Dipper stood in the room stretching his arms as Mabel ran around hooking her Ipod up to her ridiculous speaker system and shutting off all of the lights except the spotlight lamp she kept beside her bed (“for just such occasions!” she exclaimed excitedly) As the preparations commenced, Dipper’s heart sank. Why the hell did he have to be so competitive? This was going to be really embarrassing, especially if Pacifica actually was a better dancer than him. He thought he was pretty decent, but she had professional training. Professional Training, for God’s sake. He had to go and start talking smack every damn time. He facepalmed mentally, pissed that he always let her push his buttons. It always ended up poorly. He glanced over at her, and she flashed him a wide grin. Well, shit.

 

Nope. No. Pacifica Northwest does not get nervous.Pacifica Northwest makes others nervous. The Mantra repeated in her head. She had professional training for God’s sake. She’d done the tango a million times, what the hell made this any different?  
It’s HIM though. a small voice in the back of her mind insisted. You’ve imagined dancing with Dipper a million times, but you never actually thought he’d do it. You didn’t even think he could!  
You shut your mouth! She thought back, blushing. Then she saw him glance sideways at her, and tried her best to smile like someone who wasn’t arguing with herself. He smiled back and she felt a shiver run through her. Well, shit.  
Just then, the music started, And both of them moved together as if on autopilot, taking their positions.  
“The samples won’t delay, but the cable-” Mabel prompted, And Dipper began to sing in earnest.  
Pacifica blinked. Holy shit, the Pines twins could sing! Like, really well! She kind of zoned out listening to the two of them, in awe of this hidden talent. Why hadn’t she noticed this at Mabel’s Karaoke Nights? She snapped out of her reverie just in time to see Dipper take off his T-Shirt to reveal a white tank top. He tossed it to the side, strode up to her, took her hands confidently— Jeez, that look in his eyes made the butterflies in her stomach freak out— and whispered in her ear.  
“You lead first” and now it was her turn. 

Dipper felt himself spun, and dipped backwards expertly.  
“You should try it in heels!” Pacifica exclaimed loudly. Then she leaned forward and whispered under her breath “I’ve seen this show six times Dipper, I know the steps” and there was that smile again. That devilish smile that made his breath catch in his chest and his blood run hot. Then she dropped him.

“The Tango Maureen!!” They belted in unison, ending the dance, just as the music ran out. Pacifica’s chest was heaving, and she was on fire, pressed tightly against his chest.  
holy shit, he’s in better shape than i thought. They just stood there like deer in the headlights, Dipper’s perceptive brown eyes staring back at her from under his damp brunette locks, matching her intensity.  
“Holy shit.” She breathed out  
“I know, right?” came the voice from across the room, snapping both of them back to the real world. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen!”  
Dipper stepped back quickly, blushing like a tomato. “Mabel, that’s gross! We’re twins!”  
“Don’t kinkshame me Dipper!” Mabel crowed, laughing along with Pacifica at her own joke. “ No but seriously, that was intense, I need a cigarette... Or at least a drink!” She swiftly added at the sight of Dipper’s scandalized expression  
Pacifica shook her head, trying to clear the last of her daze. “Grab me one too, Mabes! and something for the lady.” Dipper just huffed out a sigh, apparently giving up now that it was two on one. That was the one skill Pacifica had that Dipper never seemed to be able to learn. she could adjust to Mabel’s inappropriate banter and embarrassing comments within a few seconds. He normally took at least fifteen minutes (and a couple stiff drinks) to relax enough to join in.  
It was all in good fun anyway. Mabel Pines might have the most open sexual preferences of any girl Pacifica had ever met, but it didn’t extend her brother. Pacifica was like 95% sure it didn’t anyway. Ok, 85%. She was pretty sure it was an act.  
Pacifica accepted two bottles of hard cider from Mabel, and set hers down.  
“Here, I’ll open yours, toots.” She remarked to Dipper, twisting off the cap of the second bottle and passing it over to him. Dipper’s eyes rolled expressively, and he downed half the bottle in one swig.  
“Oh Gee, thanks mister! You’re sooo strong!” He drawled, sarcasm dripping from his words.  
“Yeah, look at those big guns!” Mabel gushed, wrapping herself against Pacifica’s arm. “Can you do mine too?” Her eyelashes fluttered dramatically  
“Anything for a pretty gal like you!” Paz boomed, making a big show of twisting the cap off of Mabel’s beer.Her machismo failed as the two of them broke down giggling.  
“Geez, how much did you guys have before I got here?” Dipper said, curious in spite of himself. He could count of both hands the number of times he had seen Pacifica giggle.  
“None, Paz is just drunk off your sheer manliness and dancing prowess!” Mabel asserted seriously. The effect was slightly ruined, however, by her hiccuping loudly the moment she finished. This time all three of them were giggling. Mabel clutched her chest as she finished, sucking in a breath.  
“I think i almost just died! I couldn’t stop laughing enough to breathe!” She gasped out.  
Dipper and Pacifica took one look at each other at that revelation— And fell apart laughing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be no Pinecest anywhere in this fic
> 
> but there might be more pinecest jokes from Mabel. She likes making BroBro uncomfortable
> 
> she was supposed to drop him by the way


	7. Shots or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which those three crazy kids play truth or dare  
> they drink like bad kids  
> and this sleepover heats up a little bit
> 
> also, Suave/Drunk Dipper gives me life.  
> As does Creep/borderline Wincest Mabel (she's totally kidding though) (I hope)

“So…” Dipper trailed off  
“So what, brosef?” Mabel countered  
“What now? I’ve never really done sleepovers before” At that, Mabel’s eyes took on a devious glint. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a list  
“Let’s see. Live Bro theater, check. Booze, check. AHA!” Dipper inched towards the opposite end of the bed. He knew that tone, and it invariably ended poorly for him. Last time he heard it, he ended up tied up in Mabel’s old Ball Gown (Which was a couple years old and far too revealing on him) made up as Candy and Grenda laughed at him… Things like that tended to happen when Mabel and her Girl Crew(™) drank with him. Okay, I went over escaping a hostile situation with Great Uncle Ford a month ago, where’s my escape route? The door?  
Mabel sat between him and the door, writing something out on the list, so that was out. The window is the only way out. Out the window, onto the roof, down the ladder and behind the vending machine before she can even get out the makeup!  
Just then, the door creaked open, and Paz walked back in, wiping her damp hands on her sweatpants. Mabel turned to her, and declared “Truth Or Dare Time!”  
Oh no. It was almost as bad as he thought. Truth or dare with Mabel had far too much potential for embarrassment, and Thompson wasn’t around to soak up all the really humiliating stuff. Dipper was most likely screwed.  
“No way!” Pacifica said, shaking her head vigorously. “Mabel, We’re seventeen, for God’s sake. We’re way too old for Truth or Dare.” Perfect! Pacifica was going to save his ass. She rustled through her bag and pulled out a handle of really old rum. “Teenagers are supposed to play Truth or Dare or Shots!”  
“Jesus, how much alcohol did you guys bring?” Dipper protested. “Honestly, you guys know we’re underage right?”  
“Shaddup mister ‘Sneaks off to drink with Wendy before the party! Everyone else around here and at school drinks all the time! We’re just catching up to the trend!” Mabel said accusingly  
“Whoo!” Pacifica cheered, thrusting the bottle in front of her excitedly. “Tonight we get to be the bad kids!” Dipper’s eyes widened in shock. Okay, he was definitely doomed. He couldn’t even escape out the window, or they’d both end up with alcohol poisoning. He heaved a long sigh.  
“Blegh, fine. Shots or Dare it is.” The girls both hopped up onto the bed with him, sitting in a loose circle.  
“Dipdop, you first! Truth or Dare?”  
“Wait, hold up. When do the shots come into play? This game needs to at least have rules, damnit.” He protested vehemently.  
“Geez, ok nerd! You get a choice. you pick truth or dare, like normal. If you don’t answer, or do the thing, you take a shot.” Dipper shrugged and chose truth.  
“Boooooring. Ok mystery man, what do you actually do at Wendy’s house every week? Is it dirty?” Mabel leaned in inquisitively. “And if so, why haven’t I been invited?”  
Dipper snorted. “Dirty? Seriously? As if, creep.” Mabel nodded her head in acknowledgement of her creep status “She’s twenty, dude. she ain’t got no interest in a sixteen year old nerd. No, we watch movies and get a little drunk.” In the corner of his eye, he saw Pacifica looking off at the wall as if disinterested, but she seemed to relax a little with his answer.  
“Alright, My turn.” He proclaimed. “Hmmmm… Pacifica. you know the drill”  
“Yeah, alright. Bring on the Dare, Ursa Major.” Oh ho ho, someone was looking for a challenge.  
“ I dare you to tweet these exact words. Mabel Pines is a much better golfer than i am. And much more fashionable too.” He winked over at his sister.  
Pacifica shuddered. “Over my dead body.” She swiftly poured, and knocked back a shot, wincing a bit at the burn.  
“Curses! You can’t suppress the truth forever, Northwest!” Mabel crowed, earning a glare from Pacifica.  
“Oh you think that’s funny, Sweater Girl? Fine, Truth or Dare.” Mabel visibly pondered the question, and chose dare, just like she always did. “You’re always joking about twincest, time to put your money where your mouth is!” Pacifica said victoriously, certain Mabel would have to take the penalty shot on this one. “I dare you to make out with your brother.”  
What happened next happened so fast Dipper barely had time to blink. Mabel sprang across the bed, almost knocking rum everywhere, snaked an arm around the back of his neck, and yanked him into a Bugs Bunny style smack on the lips. He shoved himself backwards, straight off the bed, face twisted into a horrified grimace.  
“Holy shit, Mabel, gross. I am nowhere near drunk enough for that!” He smacked his lips disgustedly. “Did you use fucking tongue?” Pacifica was laughing so hard she was tearing up.  
“Go hard or go home, Dipping sauce!”  
Pacifica wiped her eyes. “Wow, no kidding. That reaction was priceless by the way.” She cackled again as Dipper shuddered again, and dusted himself off.  
“Alright, my turn. Let’s go with… Dipper again!”  
“Truth.”  
“Oh come on, Dippin Dot, live a little!” Pacifica nodded  
“Yeah! Everyone else is doing dares, you should get on board.” Pacifica turned to the lurid tie dye- clad girl beside her. “How about a new rule! Anyone who picks truth has to do a shot!”  
“Fair enough.” Dipper interjected before Mabel could respond. He poured a shot of the spiced rum, and tossed it down his throat. “Truth me.”  
Mabel looked him dead in the eyes. “Why do you Drink so much? What started this?”  
“You guys really don’t want to know.” Dipper reached for the bottle, which Mabel quickly snatched. “Mabel, trust me, it's just gonna bring the whole party down” Both girls shot him identical glares.  
“Dipper, just answer the question, so we can keep going.” Dipper cleared his throat, massively uncomfortable and more than a little ashamed at the line of questioning.  
“It was after Weirdmaggedon, ok?” His eyes dropped, unwilling to meet their questioning looks. “You guys won’t get it because you” He glanced at Pacifica “erased a lot of the really bad parts with the mind gun afterwards, and you”He gestured towards his sister “were in the bubble for the worst part, but It was a goddamn nightmare. For almost four straight days, i was stuck outside by myself. I was twelve, scared out of my mind, and alone in the madness. No one would want to keep those memories. But Great Uncle Ford and I promised ourselves to never use the gun on our own minds, because someone has to remember what happened to prevent it ever happening again. So i still have them. Soos, Wendy and I are the only ones who remembered all of it.” He took a shuddering breath, and forged ahead.  
“So one night after Ford had Old Man McGucket over, I snuck a jar of McG’s Moonshine up to the attic and got absolutely wasted. And it helped. When I got drunk, I could remember it, but it felt numb. I could just ignore it all. Then Wendy caught me puking my guts out outside in the snow the next morning, and I told her what I’d done. She didn’t rat me out, but she made me promise never to drink alone like that again. Wendy made me talk to Ford. I think she thought he would take me to a therapist or something. But we knew that no therapist could ever possibly hear my story without committing me to a loony bin. So he taught me his meditation techniques to suppress the memories. So now I just drink on movie nights with Wendy… or at parties.” He finished, shaking slightly at letting so much out at once.  
“Jesus.” Pacifica took a huge gulp of her drink. “A-are you ok, Dip?”  
“Yeah, this was like, three years ago we’re talking. I’m fine.”  
“You stayed in Gravity Falls after the summer ended” It wasn’t a question, but he answered anyway  
“That’s a second question!” He grinned crookedly, and swallowed a second glass of rum. “It’s my turn now. Mabes, Truth or Dare?”  
Mabel shook her head, chasing away thoughts like flies “Sorry, i was miles away” she wiped her face. “What was that, Dip?”  
“Truth or Dare, sis” he said gently. She smiled halfheartedly.  
“Dare of course.” He leaned in close to her, putting his mouth against her ear.  
“Mabes, don’t worry. I’m all good.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Now, there’s a pie in the mini fridge. i need you to go get it, and smoosh Paz’s face in it.” Mabel’s old mischievous look came back to her face, contemplating Pacifica’s reaction. Pacifica apparently saw this, and instantly started inching backwards.  
“Ok, but you need to distract Pacifica somehow. Compliment her top or something.”  
“ How will that distract her? She never gets flattered”  
“Oh, but these need to be dirty compliments!” Mabel giggled evilly. Two birds, one stone. she thought to herself. The confession her brother had just muttered gnawed at her excitement, but she buried it. Best to deal with that tomorrow when she was sober. She got up and walked behind Pacifica to the other side of the room. Pacifica turned to follow her, but Dipper’s hand caught her wrist, and whirled her back around to face him.  
“Hey Paz, that shirt looks really...really, good on you.” Dipper used the look he had been perfecting all year for flirting: the smolder. Pacifica turned red.  
“Dipper, w-what—”  
“I bet it would look even better on my floor”  
Pacifica’s mind froze up. Holy shit, Holy Shit, what do I do, Dipper Pines is hitting on me. Shit, he’s actually really good at this. What do. But her mini-freakout was rudely interrupted by something cold, wet, and red blocking her face. SPLAT  
“Oh my God, what the HELL IS THAT?!” she flipped and the twins laughter echoed in her ears. Her hands flew to her face, and she felt.. Cherries?  
“Did you just fucking PIE ME, DIPPER PINES?!?!” She screamed, as Mabel threw a towel at her. He grinned smugly at her, still with that infuriatingly hot look in his eyes.  
“Yepp. Red looks good on you Paz! Consider that revenge for making my own sister try to french kiss me.” She scooped the pie filling off her face and flung it at him as she scrubbed the rest of it off of her. In the background, Mabel started singing Cherry Pie under her breath.  
“OH my God, this top is going to be ruined!”

Two minutes, and a package of mini wipes later, and she was reasonably clean, if a bit tinged red still. As the twins watched her ministrations they held a whispered sidebar of their own.  
“Yo, Dipper that was some Grade A flirting! when did you get that good?”  
“Wendy has been training me like Yoda. It was… interesting. but once I’m a little plastered, i get all confident. also, I finally nailed the smolder.”  
“Yeah, i noticed brobro, got me going a little bit myself” Dipper made a face somewhere between a smirk and a grimace, as his sister fanned herself dramatically.  
“What, looking for some more of this sweet, sweet sugar?” He said, making over-exaggerated smooching sounds.  
“Oh, absolutely, any time brobro. Let’s heat this sleepover up.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Dipper stuck his tongue out in response.  
“Hey, use it or put it away, kid.” Pacifica called over at him, chucking the last hand wipe at him.  
“ Don’t you threaten me with a good time!” He responded, catching the wipe  
“Mabel, is it just me or is your brother actually being smooth tonight? It’s kind of freaking me out.”  
“Yeah apparently Booze turns him into Rico Suave”  
“Well, i figure there’s no way i can embarrass myself worse tonight, why not go for broke, eh?” He chuckled at his self deprecation.  
“Heh, i tell myself that constantly” Mabel responded. “By the way, Paz, Truth or Dare.” Pacifica hesitated. The game was getting kind of intense. Maybe it’s time to switch to truths. Then she contemplated taking another shot— or god forbid, two— and decided on dare. what the hell was she thinking, instituting that rule.  
“uhh, Dare”  
“You were talking crap about that top being ruined, why not just take it off?” Mabel said innocently. Dipper’s jaw dropped in concert with hers at the prospect.  
“I thought you were kidding about heating things up!” he hissed out of the corner of his mouth.  
“nope, go big or go home, brobro.” she whispered back, voice full of laughter. “Besides, it’s not like you haven’t been wondering about what she looks like topless for three and a half years. I’ve seen your internet history” Dipper blanched a little at that, appalled at the thought. He resolved to change his password immediately. They tuned back in just in time to see Paz take one last shot of the rum.  
Dipper sighed, unable to tell whether he was relieved or disappointed. He didn’t have to wonder for long however, as Paz grabbed both corners of the red-stained shirt, and dragged it up over her shoulders revealing a slightly skimpy peach colored bra against her tanned skin. He froze at the sight like a deer in the headlights. Hot fuckin DAAAMMNNNNN whispered a small voice in the back of his brain. She was fairly well endowed, at least compared to her slender frame, probably around a c-cup, damn if he knew. All he knew was that she looked absolutely perfect. Mabel elbowed him in the side, and he shook his head, trying to clear the haze of rum and arousal.  
“You’re lucky i like this bra, or I’d be really offended right now.” Pacifica pouted, an embarrassed smile curling the corners of her mouth.  
“S-sorry. Just— Wow.” Dipper said.  
“Yeah, I know. I am Pacifica Northwest, perfect in every way, remember?” She winked. Mabel wolf whistled.  
“No arguments here, sister. Daaang.” Pacifica smiled at that, and spun slowly on the balls of her feet, modelling for the twins. Mabel got up, and grabbed her pyjamas and her towel off the dresser. “ So, i’m gonna go, uh, take a nice long shower. I’ll be back in an hour.” She waggled her eyebrows again, and looked at the two of them meaningfully, as she closed the door behind her.  
“So,uh, we should…” Dipper started  
“Yeah” Pacifica replied, walking back over to her spot. Dipper started screwing the cap back on the rum, and barely managed to set it down on the bedside table before Pacifica launched herself on top of him, kissing him long and deep. His arms around her waist as she pressed herself against him, returning the kiss forcefully.

Mabel stood outside the door, chuckling to herself as she heard the telltale sounds of making out. I really am a creep she giggled But I am also one hell of a wingman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might be a bit smutty  
> but it will also hurt you. i know because i haven't written it yet and it already hurts me. so don't say i didn't warn anyone.  
> That is if anyone actually reads these notes


	8. First Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of smut
> 
>  
> 
> IN Which Mabel takes a shower, and Pacifica takes advantage of her absence and makes a move.  
> It goes rather well for our intrepid heroes.

Dipper was completely lost, running entirely on autopilot at this part. This was NOT where he had pictured the evening ending up. No complaints from him though, he thought as Pacifica pulled his t-shirt off. Dipper broke the kiss for a second, gasping for breath.

“Sorry if i’m a bit sweaty” He chuckled, then his expression turned contemplative “Pacifica, you’re drunk, are you sure it’s ok to be-” She cut him off with a finger against his mouth.  
“Marshal Sherman Pines. For once in your life, stop thinking and just enjoy.” Her eyes sparkled despite the stern tone. Pacifica leaned against the stunned boy and pressed her lips against him, resuming the insanely hot, mind-numbing assault against his lips. 

‘Fair enough’ The voice in Dippers brain told him. ‘Just ride this out, there’ll be plenty of time to be mortified about the fact that she knows your full name later.’  
Pacifica shifted on the bed, bringing on leg over Dipper’s prone form and leaning against him. She smirked inwardly at the image of the reaction she’d get once the boy’s brain caught up with the situation. His hands wandered beyond the small of her back, hesitantly exploring all the open territory and giving her major goosebumps. Reaching back, Paz grabbed his wrist and guided it to her own superbly shaped ass. She shivered at the feeling of his strong, scarred palm through the thin terrycloth shorts. There they stayed for a solid minute, kissing each other passionately, if a bit awkwardly. She could tell that it wasn’t necessarily his first kiss, but he certainly didn’t have the whole ‘Making Out’ thing down pat quite yet. Not a problem as far as Paz was concerned. She was more than willing to help him practice.

She squeeked audibly when he suddenly took the lead, both hands sliding behind her thighs and scooping her into his lap. Not a bad idea at all, she thought, squirming her hips against the feeling of the hardness in his lap. The poor boy gasped at the feeling, his hip instinctively tensing and thrusting forward ever so slightly.  
“Pent up, are we?” She whispered throatily in his ear. “I might be able to help you with that a bit” She giggled appreciatively at the widening in his eyes. She didn’t have a lot of experience with sex stuff, but she knew enough and she could fake the rest.  
“What, uh” He cleared his throat, returning his voice to its regular octave “did you have in mind for that?”his eyes wandered down to her body, taking in the unique new perspective.  
“Oh i was thinking we could just go with the flow…” She winked, and Dipper chuckled.  
“You sure? I mean, i know you said to just enjoy, but i don’t want to take advantage of-” She silenced him with another kiss.  
“Do you want this?” she asked. Dipper’s head bobbed violently in affirmation. “Good. I do too. In fact, I’ve been picturing this for years.” Her hands fumbled with the button to his jeans, and he lifted his hips and helped her slide them off. Pacifica leaned back to admire the rather large tent in his forest green boxers. She felt a wobble in her belly at the sight. Dipper coughed a little self consciously.  
“So, uh, what d’you think?” he stammered out. Pacifica hummed in appreciation, and ran her hand up his muscular leg past the striping of small scars and grasped his member.  
“Not that i’ve seen a lot of.. uh, these. But, i must say, I’m impressed kid. Now i see where all that confidence comes from.” She replied in his ear. 

What, too proper to say dick, Miss Northwest?” Dipper rejoindered. Pacifica’s hand tightened slightly against his, and started moving up and down, eliciting another small groan.  
“Is now really the time for being snarky, Dipper?” He just breathed heavily in response. Apparently she was pretty good with her hands. “And, no. I can totally say.. Dick”  
“Ooh, there it is. I love a girl that talks dirty.” Dipper ignored the pause, chalking it up to the last remaining dregs of her prim and proper upbringing. Despite all the trouble he had caused for the Northwests over the years, he had never once heard any of them curse.

“Oh, is that right, stud?” Pacifica drawled as she the motion of her hand and slid off his lap to sit beside him. She slipped her hand back into his lap, and underneath the waistband of his boxers to cup that hot tumescence underneath. “Wanna hear some more?”

“Sure, hit me.” Dipper quavered, shuddering at the feeling of her cool hand against his skin.  
“I can’t wait for the day i get you back to the manor into my king-sized bed. We’re gonna have to wait for the main event until then. Not much room for fun on your little twin sized beds.” She worked her hand a bit, freeing him from the confines of his boxers. He finally seemed to get over the daze that her hands had induced, and wrapped his free arm behind her back. Pacifica scooted closer, pressing her chest against his. She gasped a little when she felt his pop the clasp on her cream colored Victoria’s secret bra with one hand “How the hell did you figure out that trick?” she asked, mock accusingly

“I’m technically a genius, Paz. I can figure out a bra clasp.” A lesson about bras and their function from Wendy when he turned fifteen didn’t hurt, but now wasn’t the time for that story. Pacifica paused her stroking to remove the covering completely, which was good because Dipper was running out of endurance. Years of practice by himself didn’t prepare the teen for this. His eyes widened again at the sight of her without it. He knew it sounded cliche, but her breasts were actually Perfect, capital P. Like, She had the kind of body that artists dreamt of sculpting. Pacifica’s pale skin flushed under his gaze.

“You make me feel like a goddess when you look at me like that” she said quietly to him.  
“Good. You are one.” His hand brushed against her nipple as he brought it up to her cheek, and she shuddered. “So what was that ‘main event’ you were talking about?” he asked cheekily, breaking their reverie.  
“Well,” she said, haughty and challenging, as if offended he even had to ask “I assumed at some point you’d like to let me fuck those giant brains of yours out” Dipper bit his lip and squeezed his thighs together at the wording.  
“Well, i was thinking more like making love… B-but yeah, fucking sounds good too.” She grinned fiendishly at his reaction

“Good. Now lean back, i want to try something before your sister gets done.” She brushed the golden locks out of her face as Dipper leaned back, and bent over to take his throbbing cock in her mouth in one go. She didn’t give Dipper a second to adjust or try to hold back at all, just instantly started working her head up and down as if it wasn’t her first time ever doing it. She was surprised at how easy it was, bobbing up and down as his hands tightened on the comforter on either side.

“Pacifica, I-I’m gonna cu-” He managed to get out as she plunged his dick as deep as she could down her throat and he finished. The taste hit her, not terrible or astringent like she had heard it would be. Surprisingly, it really wasn’t bad. Kinda salty. She wiped her hand across her mouth as she looked up at him for a reaction.  
“Holy shit!” Dipper exclaimed breathlessly. She leaned back, looking for a tissue or something to clean herself off with, and was startled when he caught her on the mouth with a kiss, and passed her a wipe from his bedside table. “That was- wow. Jesus. Holy crap”

“Oh thanks.” She winked at him, and got up off the bed. He got one last look at her in all her glory before she pulled her bra back on and clipped it behind her back. Dipper had just pulled his pants back on as Mabel knocked at the bedroom door. “Everyone decent?” Dipper and Paz just looked at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will not be dirty next chapter will be sad  
> comment, critique, enjoy


	9. A Mind is a Hell of a Thing To Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is gonna hurt. It hurt me to write it. 
> 
> In which Dipper tells Pacifica everything.

The moon still hung in the sky when Dipper awoke, soaked in sweat, a scream dying in his throat before it could escape. He quickly scanned the room for sepia tones or any hint of the characteristic electric yellow that haunted his dreams of late. He spotted nothing. Not the dreamscape, not the blood red light of Weirdmageddon anywhere. Nor the haunting images of Mabel, the Stans, and all of his friends dying in blood and agony that constituted Bill’s parting gift to Dipper Pines. It was just the attic.

He was lying on the floor with no shirt on, covered in a blanket Mabel had made out of all of her favorite sweaters that no longer fit, and freezing. Freezing and still thoroughly buzzed. He just lay there for a minute or two, letting the beginnings of a headache settle in, and waiting for his joints to stop aching for some reason. The sensation of being simultaneously buzzed and hungover just deepened his brain’s lingering confusion from the dream. ‘What the hell did we do earlier before I passed out??’ 

Dipper got up, forcing his knees to bend. He wobbled slightly as his brain and inner ear jointly protested the maneuver. Mabel was passed on the bed behind him, aggressively cuddling a big pink monster of a pig. To think that thing was once called “Ole Fifteen Poundy”...

The floorboards squeaked as he stepped towards the dresser to grab a shirt. That noise caused Pacifica to roll over in her sleep over on his old bed. Her hair was a mess, and her arm dangled off the edge of the mattress, dropping the half empty bottle of rum. It landed with a thunk, and rolled across the uneven floor to rest at his feet. Unbidden, images of her topless, pressed up against him in the throes of passion leapt to his mind. Her words about “next time” and what she wanted to do to him echoed after, and he shook his head. That explained the dreams, then. Those emotions didn’t exactly make for good meditation. Neither did booze, for that matter. And meditating was the only thing that insured he had a dreamless sleep, cut off from his ravaged mindscape.

Tomorrow is going to have a lot of awkward conversations in it. Potentially painful, messy conversations that he had been trying to put off as long as possible. Dipper bent down, and scooped the bottle off the floor by his feet, unscrewing the cap. “Welp, no avoiding it after that” he whispered sadly, and drank.

Pacifica’s eyes opened when she heard the sound of the window swinging open. A second later, she felt a wave of pain hit the back of her eyes. Ugh, when did she start getting hangovers? She couldn’t ever remember getting them like this before. The sound of someone walking out onto the roof almost escaped her when she screwed up her eyelids, trying in vain to suppress the pain. Paz massaged her temples with one hand, and groped for her purse with the other. Inside the ridiculously priced coach bag was a bottle of water and a thing of Midol. Both of which she intended to take liberally until the world stopped being composed entirely of agony.

Her questing hand was rewarded by the feel of leather arm loops. The heavy bag was promptly hauled across the covers, and she fumbled for the clasp. The purse fought with her for a moment, unwilling to relinquish its precious cargo. Paz’s right hand left her temple, and she wrenched the bag open, pulling out her water and the small emergency bottle of pain relief meds. She popped the two blue pills into her mouth, and sent them into her stomach accompanied by three quarters of the bottle. 

It was only fifteen minutes until the headache abated noticeably, but to her it felt like aeons. Then, suddenly the wool in her brain fell out her ears and she could think again. And the first image that swam to the surface was broad shoulders, a chest covered in scars, a starry birthmark and a hard.. Oh geez. Pacifica colored. That wasn’t a dream, apparently. She sat up— and instantly regretted it. Headrush and hangovers do not good bedfellows make. Thankfully it seemed that puking was not on the menu. She gulped down the rest of the water.

Just then, a gust blew the curtains, and hit her. Pacifica shivered violently. ‘Who the hell left that open? She strode over to the window, scooping up one of the oversized t-shirts out of Dipper’s Clean Laundry pile, and pulled it on. Just as Paz reached the window to close it the wind blew again, and she saw it. The unmistakable silhouette out on the roof.

“Dipper, what the hell are you doing out in the cold?” She whispered loudly, out across the rooftop. All she got in response was a single hand, raised without looking back, that beckoned her out to join him on his perch. Cautiously, acutely aware of the fact that her equilibrium would betray her at first opportunity, Pacifica walked out to the little deck. 

“Dipper, what’s going on?” She inquired in an exasperated voice. ‘Really, what possessed the madman to go hang out on the roof, drunk at 3 in the morning?’ and she asked him as much as she walked over. Dipper chuckled, dark and low.

“What possessed me, huh? Nothing this time. Same boring old Pine Tree.” Pacifica’s shoulders flinched at the nickname. She hated it. Everyone did, most of all Dipper himself. Which meant something had to be wrong. She stopped in place, about three feet behind him. Why would he-

As if able to sense her reticence, Dipper turned to face her, and pulled both his eyelids down, revealing the same bloodshot, weary brown gaze as always. “Sorry,” he mumbled “bad joke”  
“You don’t say?” Paz remarked, thoroughly chagrined. She walked over briskly, all thoughts of falling forgotten, and plopped herself down beside him. “Alright, spill.” Dipper glanced over at her, eyes bleary and bloodshot. It was only then that she saw the bottle of booze hanging limply from his left hand.

“Jesus, Dip, you’re still drinking?” His head flopped up and down. Dipper silently resigned himself to the fact that this conversation was going to happen one way or another. Dipper didn’t even turn his head. He just took one long pull from the bottle, and swallowed “Yep”  
“I can’t sleep.” Dipper remarked, stating the obvious.

“Yeah that’s pretty clear. Why not?”

“I’d rather not talk about it if it's all the same to you Paz. Don’t worry about it, just go inside. I’ll be fine.” 

“No, Dipper. You’re pretty clearly not ok. So here's what's going to happen. I’m going to sit here until you tell me what the hell is wrong." She paused "Is.. is it about last night?” She asked, almost nervously

“What do you mean, last night?”

“I mean.. like, what happened earlier when we.. hooked up, i suppose.” Dipper chuckled to himself at the sudden unsureness in her voice.

“No.” She opened her mouth to interrogate him further, but he stopped her. “Pacifica, stop. just.. don’t worry about me. It’s not important.” He brought the bottle to his face to take another swig, and Pacifica grabbed the neck, forcing him to look at her.

“Of course it is you idiot! Earlier you said you fixed this, you said you didn’t have a problem drinking anymore. Then I find you out here, at three in the morning finishing a whole bottle of rum. That doesn’t seem very fixed to me.”

“I’m not hurting anyone. Leave off, Paz.”

“Anyone but yourself you mean?”

“Paz, Jesus, what does it matter if I drink? Who cares!” 

“I do! So does Mabel! Neither of us has any idea what’s going on with you! I didn’t even know you were living in Gravity Falls!” She took a breath, steadying herself, and continued before he could interrupt. “And I saw you go home after your birthday, and I know full well that you stayed there all year.”

“You really want to have this discussion NOW?” 

“When would you prefer to have this conversation?” Pacifica responded almost angrily. “I didn’t even know most of it yesterday, and I only know a tiny bit now. If we don’t talk about this now, you’ll just pull away again and who knows if i’ll ever find out what’s going on with you. I can’t keep doing this dance, Dipper!” Dipper glared at the bottle in his hand as he took another swig, as if to say ‘How dare you be almost empty’.

“Fine. You want me to tell you what’s ‘going on’ with me?” She nodded at him. “Here goes: I’ve been here in Gravity Falls full time for about three and a half years.” Pacifica opened her mouth to ask something, she didn’t even know what, but Dipper held up a finger to stop her. He downed the last bit of the rum in the bottle, and flung it into the trashcan below them on the ground, murmuring ‘Ten points’ glibly under his breath.

“The week after we won the battle, Mabel and I went home and life went on like normal. Just normal everyday life for everyone. Everyone except me. Something happened during that last fight with Bill.” They both shuddered at that. It had become a taboo overnight in town to even mention his name. “He did something to my mindscape, you see. When I took away his hold on this world, he got his revenge, tearing through my mindscape on his way out. I knew it would happen beforehand, but what could I do, let him stay? So i took it, and it was fine at first. I went home, and everything went back. But then the nightmares started. And the paranoia. The constant fear that one day i would look up at see gold irises glinting out from Mabel’s face, or walk outside and see a giant burning cross in the sky.”

“Why didn’t you just use the mind-gun on yourself like the rest of us? I know what happened, we all do, but we don’t have to keep those memories. That’s what saved all of us from-”

“No. Great Uncle Ford and I swore never to use the gun on our own minds. It would be like opening the door to Him to slip back in. Anyway, It wouldn’t help me. It might work for the rest of you, but that isn’t the problem.”

“Dipper, what do you mean that isn’t the problem?” Pacifica’s eyes were wide, confused, searching his face for answers. It was a pity, he thought, that there weren’t any. At least, not any good ones.

“I mean, I just told you.” He pulled a scrap of grubby paper out of his pocket, the last remnants of Ford’s Journals, and unfolded it. It depicted a human mind, stretching into the mindscape and connecting to the nightmare realm. “This is our world. Every human mind has their own Mindscape, which connects from their mind to the nightmare realm where B- Cipher is trapped. I forced him back, but when I did he went through my mindscape and shredded it completely. There’s no barrier for me anymore. Nothing protecting my mind from direct contact with that hell.” He blinked slowly, exhaustedly, and folded the paper in his hands to remove the middle, leaving the Nightmare touching the human mind

“When i go to sleep, I don’t dream anymore. I see this. That’s all I ever see, unless I meditate and build a wall around my mind to block it out. But I can’t do that every night. Sometimes I pass out before I finish, sometimes I don’t make it strong enough, and it breaks. Then I get to see it again. But It’s never perfect. Something always bleeds through, and I can’t stand against it forever. It’s wearing me down, Paz. Piece by piece. That’s why the mind-gun won’t work. Because it’s not what’s in there” He tapped his head “that’s the problem. It’s what isn’t there. Ford and I have been searching for four years for a way to rebuild it, but there isn’t one.”

“What-” Pacifica stopped, unsure of what to even ask. She started again. “So you came back to try to fix it?”

“Not just that.” Dipper rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly ashamed of himself. “It’s affected me. My personality. A lot. I’ve become a lot more angry, violent, generally irritable. I’m not the same Dipper Pines I was before The Summer happened. I know Mabel sees it a bit, but I managed to hide the worst of it until I got back here. I couldn’t let Mabel see that side of me, to be afraid of me. It would have ruined me. Sooner or later I would have lashed out and hurt someone, or done something to ruin her life. So I came here. Here I can lock myself in the Lab until I’m fit for human interaction again, and Soos, Wendy and the Grunkles are more than capable of handling me at my worst. I couldn’t stay and do that to her.”

“O-okay, but why couldn’t you tell me you were here? I want- I would’ve been happy to help! You saved me three times over, Dipper! Why couldn’t you give me the chance to help you back?” Tears burned in Pacifica’s eyes, but she forced them not to fall. Changed she might be, but she was still raised a Northwest. No signs of weakness.

“Pacifica, I’ve known for four years that you feel the same way about me that I feel about you.” His voice shook as he spoke now, saying things out loud that he had planned a million times, hoping and denying in turn, over and over. But he was sure now, it couldn’t be. He had to protect her, just like he protected Mabel. That was Dipper’s job. “I’ve loved you a little bit ever since that night when we stood up to Preston, and you saved my life. Every summer, when you walk through the doors of the Shack a little freer, a little less eclipsed by your parents’ ‘Legacy’, I fell a little harder.” Pacifica’s eyes were shining now. She couldn’t believe it. He felt it too?

“But why-?” Dipper chuckled, a harsh humorless sound so unlike his usual laugh.

“Weren’t you listening, Pacifica? I’m BROKEN. I can barely stand to be around people. I have to use every ounce of my willpower just to keep the damage in check for the summer when Mabel is here. I couldn’t ever be what you need. I couldn’t be the Dipper you met four years ago, because that isosceles piece of shit killed him. Slowly, bit by bit, I’m losing my mind. How could I ever take you to dinner, or the movies? How could I ever get a real job, or have a normal wedding when I know that one of these days I’m going to wake up and the last piece is going to be gone?”

"Paz, I'm exhausted. Like, down to the bones. Can we please just finish this later?"

 

 

Of course, during the course of the conversation neither of them noticed the creak of the floorboards, or the silhouette of the sleepy girl in the window behind them. Dipper and Pacifica never saw her, didn't know that she was listening. And by the time they both walked back inside, and collapsed onto the same bed, too tired to move or care where they landed, she was laying on her own bed, turtleneck pulled up over her head, quietly sobbing in Sweatertown. She whispered under her breath, too quiet to hear.

 

"It's all my fault"


	10. Kill Bill Vol. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened in the Fearamid.

He was sitting in the Fearamid, in a cage with Grunkle Ford.  He sat there and _Watched_ as both of their siblings _ran off._ Stan had no idea what to do, but he grabbed Mabel ran, promising to figure something out.  He wouldn’t. There was nothing left to figure out.  

 

“Dipper. Do you have a knife on you?  Ford asked, with a frantic look in his eyes.

 

“What?!”   

 

“I can let Bill into my mind if you have a knife. I have to remove the metal plate.   Once he’s in, Use this. Erase him forever.”   He didn’t have a knife.  Ford’s eyes lost all hope at that.   Minutes later, Bill crawled back into the room, four legs and all mouths.  

 

“Well, well, well. Maybe this’ll change your mind, sixer!” Bill spoke in that voice, so unlike his own  He raised them both up, screaming over his maw. “WHich should I eat first!”

  
  


“WAIT!” Dipper screamed out, voice breaking. “I can get you out of town. I memorized every journal, every page. I deciphered them all.  You can find it in here.”

 

“NO DIPPER, YOU CAN”T” Ford cried out.  Dipper couldn’t tell if he was playing along or not. His voice was desperate, pleading.

 

Ford wasn’t acting. He didn’t think he could bring himself to erase the boy, who reminded him so much of his brother, so much of himself. It would kill him.

 

“PSHHHHH, why should I believe you, Pine Tree? What I need isn’t in the journals.”

 

“Yeah, it’s in Grunkle Ford’s head, and He’s been teaching me for months.” He hadn’t  and Dipper had no clue how to break the magnetism. But he learned how to bluff from a world-class poker player.

 

“Dipper.. No.  please. It’ll destroy me.” Ford was whispering now, and Dipper knew he wasn’t playing along.

 

“Not if He takes the deal.”  Dipper apologized with his gaze. He knew it would hurt them all, but it Had To Be Done. He was the only one who could, so he would.

 

“What do you say, Bill?  Spare the people I love, and the rest of the world is yours. I’ll let you in.” Triumphantly, the demon’s hand reached down, and shook.   

  
  
  


The next thing he knew, he was sitting in the ruins of the shack surrounded by everyone.  (Embarrassingly enough, apparently the thing that triggered his recall was Wendy walking in.)  Soos had become Mr. Mystery, and the Grunkles planned their trip to the arctic. They promised to be back by next summer. That’s how they had been planning to spend every year. For nine months, they’d chase anomalies, and for three they’d be with Dipper and Mabel, and live at the shack.  

 

Dipper’s break down changed that story a little. For a couple years they had to put that on hold. He wasn’t old enough or mentally healthy enough to be left alone for long, or accompany them on adventures. At sixteen, they thought he could handle living at the shack with just Soos and Melody for company, and had gone on a second trip. This year, he was determined he could take care of himself when they left. Wendy had even offered to let him come stay at her apartment, but he’d declined instantly. He couldn’t be a burden.

 

Dipper fucking hated being a burden. He couldn’t stand  that the two men he loved most in the world couldn’t leave the shack because of him.  Neither held it against him for a second. Every time he was having an episode, every time he wandered around at night feeling all of the eyes from every surface watching him, he could see the guilt in Ford’s eyes. _I did this to him._ They seemed to whisper.  

 

He contemplated suicide once in awhile. Not that he wanted to die. Dipper was a rational man, a man of science. He knew a miserable existence was better than none at all. But sticking around and making everyone else miserable was more than he could bear. The only thing that stopped him was the look he saw in Great Uncle Ford’s eyes when he thought Dipper wasn’t looking.    He knew Ford spent a lot of time trying to find some way to fix everything, but he couldn’t. There wasn’t one.

 

Sometimes, He’d wander up to the McGucket Mansion and just talk to Old Man McGucket for hours when he felt that way. They could relate a lot, now more than ever. It made him feel better to talk it all out with someone who couldn’t blame themselves for it. He wished he was there, or up on the mountain with Multibear, or on his cot in the lab. Literally anywhere but here, sitting on the roof and slowly sobering up as a tearstreaked Pacifica Northwest slept on his lap.

  
She insisted that she didn’t care how bad it was, she wouldn’t give up. She told him she loved him at least three times, and he wanted to say it back so badly. There was no point though.  If he said it, then it was real. He wouldn’t be strong enough to make her leave, or hold her at arm’s length anymore.  So he could only say it in his head

 

 

_I love you so much_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the only way I could figure out to mesh my fanfic with Canon.
> 
> This is a Dipper's mind got erased instead of Stan's AU now
> 
> Lemme know if you like, it took me a while to get back to this and I'm sorry, but it isn't abandoned


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